Selfish Older Mum

It's been interesting reading the articles and various comments regarding Dr Barry Walters opinion during the past week in the local newspaper, The West Australian, about older mums being selfish. As an older mum (37) I was a annoyed that I could be labelled as selfish without knowing any of my history. From a medical stance I could possibly understand  Dr Walters point of view, but then improved medical science has allowed many woman, young and older with predisposing factors to have healthy pregnancies and newborns. The main point of Dr Walters that annoyed me the most, suggested that older parents where selfish as their children would have to take care of them as geriatric parents.

If in my twenties I had started a family I would now be a single mother whose children would have seen and heard their mother subjected to domestic violence. Luckily I chose not to start a family then.

As it turned out I waited for Mr Right who arrived when I was the ripe old age of twenty eight. We started trying out for a family two years later. Problems and miscarriages led us to a fertilty expert where we found that the only way for us to have a baby was through IVF. Seven attempts at IVF later and we were no closer to having our baby. It was just after the seventh IVF attempt that we found out that my fifty three year old mother had a massive tumour. After surgery it was determined that the tumour was inoperable and unfortunately she only had months to live. It was right then that I decided that mum was coming to live with us. We also took in my youngest sister who was still living at home with my mum. During those final months I never found my mum to be a burden. Don't get me wrong. It was a very emotional and challenging time but I hold those three months close to my heart. I'm glad I got the chance to care for my mum and repay her for all the love and care that she gave to us.

My mum was nowhere near geriatric. I was born when she was twenty one. If she could have foreseen her future I'm thinking she would not have pictured herself thirty two years later dying and being cared for by one of her daughters.

I'm happy that I had my children later in life. As it so happened five months after mum passing we found out that we were pregnant naturally (thanks mum). Having my children later and working the previous fifteen years of my life has allowed my family to accumulate a comfortable lifestyle. That benefits all of my family. Surely I can't be selfish for wanting that? Don't get me wrong. We aren't living on easy street but in the unfortunate event that either myself or my partner become seriously ill, then we will have savings (thanks to older self choosing to delay parenthood) to receive medical care and help whether my children choose to care for us or not.

Have the best day and night,
Mummy Style xxx